KARATE EXPERT SHATTERS HAND, BOARD, SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM

NAMEATOWN, US–A local karate expert injured his hand and pride while trying to prove his strength by breaking a wooden board with his bare knuckles. Thurston Wallace, 19, after seeing elder karate experts nonchalantly break through boards using their foreheads, realized his strength was in question and was quick to saw a fresh board, . . .

Horrible New Street Drug Craze

Please do not try, all you children, adults, and geezers.

Oh yeah, and noise by elf wax.