Rick Santorum: top 5 unorthodox views

Haha funny Santorum

So brave! Chronicle.SU Christian Scientists analyze the various ways in which Ricky Santorum demonstrates his Christian bravery. . . .

miley-cyrus-lapdance-video

Miley Cyrus advertises using sexting

Like your uncircumcised, shriveled up little excuse for a winky, The Chronicle.SU has risen to the call of the next, and possibly last, Miley Cyrus article. . . .

New study links marijuana to hunger, passivity

We were going to write an excerpt for this story but then Rasta-man totally forgot what it was about so we grilled cheese sandwiches and let the intern worry about it. . . .

The Elf Wax Times is brought to you by…

This is the closest thing you’re ever going to get to a commercial on The Elf Wax Times. Fuck advertising, fuck the media, and fuck your blind faith in the government. . . .

There is an Apocalypse of Information

The Universe collapses in on itself, swallowing and regurgitating the reality we all know and love. ELLEN DEGENEROUS IS TONIGHT’S GUEST. . . .

CNN and FOX affiliates announce new patriotic reality show

Snap into a psychotic rage this Fall in an all-new season of War, Episode II, Overseas Contingency Operation. Fuck propaganda – this is the REAL DEAL! . . .

Elf Wax Times announces anti-lesbian platform

The Elf Wax Times doesn’t hate lesbians, but statistics show that as the number of lesbians increase, the number of girls willing to fuck Elf Wax staff writers declines, threatening America’s freedom. . . .

Failing failures and the failure that fails them

The money you spend on tacos and Wal-Mart trash pays for genocide overseas. Your brain is committing suicide. You are generally worthless and we don’t like you reading Elf Wax. . . .

An Eastern Approach to the Problems of Western Protest

Existing on a key energy route, Georgia is the iconic front line in the growing tensions between Russia and the West. . . .

All Women Born into Adulthood

Kay S. Hymowitz may have you believe that there is a new generation of “Child Men” out there to make women’s job of trapping men into their idea of a happy and “adult” life very hard. Here’s what she has to say in a nutshell. And a link to her article, which I did . . .