Paul Ryan washes dishes at Ohio soup kitchen and hurries out

Paul Ryan meets free black man

Paul Ryan hurriedly washes a pan while lecturing schoolchildren about the inconvenience of calluses. . . .

Rick Santorum: top 5 unorthodox views

Haha funny Santorum

So brave! Chronicle.SU Christian Scientists analyze the various ways in which Ricky Santorum demonstrates his Christian bravery. . . .

Peter King To Rescue Fear-Gripped Midwest From Shariah Law

Peter King

The only “serious” differences in fundie types are alterations in the underlying cartoon narrative of anthropology, familial histories, flying men and talking donkeys. . . .

ELF WAX TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT

The Elf Wax Times’ team of political analysts project that the publication’s platform of drug use, videogames and name-calling will be all the evidence voters need to make the right decision in 2012. . . .