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By  Hatesec, on March 14th, 2013%Jim Ficks Hi, I’m Jim Ficks and this is Wal-Mart. At Wal-Mart, we cheer every morning, working ourselves up into a ravenous furor in the name of the great one and only, the provider, the destroyer – Wal-Mart of America. I’m Jim Ficks, and I have a job now. You Don’t. I’m Jim Ficks. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on December 15th, 2010%
TERROR ON THE HOMEFRONT – LOCAL HERO LARRY CECIL ADVISES ALL AMERICANS TO PURCHASE AS MANY WEAPONS AS POSSIBLE AND TO IGNORE ALL REQUESTS BY THE ATF, WHO HAVE JUST BEEN LABELED A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on April 27th, 2010%The world’s money has coalesced into a singularity, starving and depriving the world of its means of operation. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on August 31st, 2009%The internet has taken control of our long-range nuclear missile silos. Richmond, VA readies itself for mandatory evacuation. Prepare for chaos. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on August 25th, 2009%There are little girls who trail behind mommy or daddy through Anytown, USA, staring down into their twiddling hands at what is without fail – and without question – a cell phone. …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on April 22nd, 2009%Virginia, U.S.–The local human plantation of Roanoke, Virginia is at the brink of destruction. There is a major reason to believe, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that waves of mountain lions did descend on the people of the Roanoke Valley in the great retaking of the cherished …MOAR! By Frank Mason, on April 12th, 2009%Since the dawn of time, paranoid delusional people have been denied the opportunity to dodge reality and dive into the upward-spiraling colossus of a self-feeding reward system of worry. But now we can, with EvoCam. Combining the award-winning prestige of the highly adaptive miniature video camera with the competence of your common desktop or laptop …MOAR! |
 
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Why I can’t do Facebook
Elf Wax columnist and internet rapist Al Stephenson delivers a biting review of the social networking fucksite, Facebook. …MOAR!