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News

KingCobraJFS’ fling ends in terroristic threats, shutdown of r/kingcobraJFS subreddit

 
In a rare wholesome moment, Jessica Boyle reveals a hickey under Josh Saunders’ stylish dog collar.

INTERNET — Jessica Boyle, 39 of Virginia Beach, Virginia, claims that the FBI are investigating a terroristic threat at Casper/Natrona International from her bathtub, live on YouTube. Hate comments flood the chat and are swatted down. Each day the moderators ban hundreds and even thousands of despicable hate-filled messages. 

Jessica growls and barks at her phone through all hours of the day and night, trying to overpower the collective hate of thousands. She’s not alone. This aggressive live streamer has found love in fellow YouTube celebrity, Josh Fay Saunders, aka King Cobra JFS. 
Jessica is in her bathtub almost all hours of the day, moaning about her own ugliness and fantasizing about the women Josh will have after he discards her. Outbursts like these are just what the so-called “troles” draw pleasure from, driving them towards ever more extreme and risky methods of harassment, in what they call “milking” these so-called “lolcows.”
Fans chipped in and bought Jessica a ticket to Casper, priming Josh for what would become a powder keg of abuse, both from their frenzied community as well from Jessica, herself a deadly dangerous threat. However, long before she’d even set foot in the airport, troles appear to have hatched a terrorist plot to shut down Casper / Natrona International Airport, possibly rerouting her inbound plane and leading to a lengthy series of layovers and mysterious delays.
And then on the day Jessica was due to fly in, it happened. All flights in and out of Casper / Natrona International were cancelled.
Oil City News reports on a mysterious white substance
But that was only the beginning of the abuse and harassment. While Jessica visited Josh in Casper, prank calls from fans brought local police to his apartment many times each day, even in spite of the best efforts to mute and hide their streams.
Subsequent police visits and investigations have created immense stress in Jessica’s relationship with Josh. When Josh is live streaming with other people, she ties his phone up with incessant calls, commanding him to stop discussing her bad behavior. In a previous visit, Josh received a sexual content strike against his YouTube account due to Jessica’s lewd sex acts while live.
In an apparent response to FBI investigation, the r/kingcobrajfs subreddit was shuttered, and any replacement King Cobra subreddits are immediately squashed. Meanwhile, the more sinister r/the_boglim subreddit has locked down, forwarding all visitors to KiwiFarms. Reddit representatives refused to comment on their cooperation in the ongoing FBI investigation mentioned by Ms Boyle.
On the day that Jessica’s flight out of Casper was scheduled, the top post on r/kingcobrajfs begged for someone in the community to “cancel the ticket. Again, her flight was delayed, leading to an extreme meltdown in which Jessica fantasized about buying an “$8 machete” to take out her #1 hater, rival YouTuber Jessica Messica. Few details on any possible reasons behind this second flight delay have been revealed. Jessica only called it a “fraud,” which was escalated to the “highest levels” of her airliner’s customer service.
Because these incidents are still under federal investigation – now extending to Josh and Jessica, or King and Queen Cobra – reddit will not allow discussion of King Cobra JFS, and his landlord won’t have him, but rumors from the boglim mines suggest Josh has acquired a majestic double-wide mobile home in the country.
A so-called “Spitter Spy,” member of the counter-trolling Spitter Spies fan group warned troles, “You don’t mess with black magic practitioners, are you stupid? I know Cobes got out his crystal staff to harness the gravity of the sun, as magnified by the moon, and wham. That eclipse power surged and his black magic took down the subreddit full of haters. Long live Ozzy, [expletive] the troles!”
Categories
News Technology

Security footage of Boeing repair before door-plug blowout was overwritten by 4K episodes of Bible Black

NEW YORK—A government investigation into a Boeing 737 Max 27 plane’s door-plug blowout has been hampered by a lack of repair records and security camera footage, the National Transportation Safety Board’s chair told US senators. Boeing was “unable to find the records” and told the NTSB that the security camera footage was overwritten.

“To date, we still do not know who performed the work to open, reinstall, and close the door plug on the accident aircraft,” NTSB Chair Jennifer Homendy wrote Wednesday in a letter to leaders of the Senate Commerce, Science, and Transportation Committee. “Boeing has informed us that they are unable to find the records documenting this work. All they know is it was a little princess door-plug, with a pretty purple crystal on the knob. A verbal request was made by our investigators for security camera footage to help obtain this information; however, they were informed the footage was overwritten by hentai. The absence of those records will complicate the NTSB’s investigation moving forward.”

A Boeing spokesperson told Internet Chronicle today that under the company’s standard practice, “video recordings are maintained on a rolling 30-day basis” before being overwritten by pornographic cartoons. The NTSB’s preliminary report on the investigation said the airplane was delivered to Alaska Airlines on October 31, 2023, after a repair in a Boeing factory. On January 5, the plane was forced to return to Portland International Airport in Oregon when a passenger door plug blew off the aircraft during flight.

The NTSB’s preliminary report found that four bolts were missing from the door plug, which can be used instead of an emergency exit door. There was “no evidence” that the door plug “was opened after leaving Boeing’s facility,” indicating that the bolts were not re-installed at the factory. The plane was serviced at Boeing’s Renton, Washington, facility to replace five damaged rivets in a job that required opening the door plug.

Boeing, a company that once represented quality, and bombing other countries, is now the laughing stock of the aeronautics industry.

Vicious and sex crazed, the demon is very aggressive, showing no sign of remorse or empathy when assaulting Takashiro.
Vicious and sex crazed, the demon is very aggressive, showing no sign of remorse or empathy when assaulting Takashiro.

Stacy Skylord, 27, was on the Alaska Airlines flight to Portland, when the door plug exploded off. She says she was on her way to a recreational abortion.

That’s because people are reportedly getting pregnant on purpose, “wearing” the pregnancy like a fashion statement, and flying first class to abortion states to have the fetus terminated at the latest possible stage in the pregnancy.

“We’re just dunking on them at this point. We like to say even when Boeing’s planes don’t crash, they’re still killing people; specifically, this baby. Hit me, Dr. Troubadour!”

—Stacy, 27, Pregnant for the next 30 seconds

The general public is going ape-shit, and police have blocked off runway access around highways, where people have taken to throwing spears at planes coming in for landing.

No word yet on whether Bible Black is subbed, dubbed, or both. Also, Boeing killed a whistleblower.

This message brought to you via browser drone strike by Lebal Drocer, Inc. Keep your eyes to the skies!
Categories
World

Investigators unearth illegal click farm that authorities say was operated by Lebal Drocer, Inc.

MUANG NGOI, Laos—Terry had come to see. The air turned sweet. Soon it would be nightfall. The forest was a canopy of shadows and rising tension, the awakening of howling beasts. Terry had driven across the country to reach this remote river village, and now he was finally here, looking to the top of the hill, ready to confront the person he believed had fraudulently clicked more advertisements than anyone in Laos. In the distance, he could hear them: dozens of mice clicking.

For nearly two months, Terry, 64, an American counter-trafficking agent working with various government agencies around the world, had tracked the source of this fraudulent clicking activity to a small hut in southeast Asia registered to an obscure publishing magnate, a man named Raleigh Theodore Sakers.

Authorities say the underground click farm would have never been discovered, if the site’s owner, Raleigh Theodore Sakers, had never started his side hustle:

“They were solving captchas on the side.

Lt. Raymond “Ray” Terry, FBI Investigator

Ya dig? Raleigh had them kids working non-stop 16-hour days, seven days a week.

Their tiny hands, he said, make it easier to see the screen, which helps them click faster. The children do not know their families.”

Repeat Offender

Dr. Angstrom Troubadour is listed in a formal complaint where Lebal Drocer, Inc. was accused of operating a fake news, disinformation camp.

Terry says the above image is a closer approximation to the reality of work on a Lebal Drocer clickfarm. Standing in stark contrast to the club-like atmosphere being sold in the advertisement, a Lebal Drocer clickfarm is an un-ventilated cell where a single person is made to click, or touch, a battery of phones attached to a board, reminiscent of a switchboard operator’s station.

Children as young as the age of three are hunched over dirt mounds, like pitcher’s mounds with an iPhone for a plate, and they are being forced to peck on Temu advertisements while having no understanding of what they are doing.

“These children are working before they are even making memories,” Terry said. “If I wasn’t a cop, and I read books instead of watching MMA, I would say this is just like Brave New World.”

Dr. Angstrom H. Troubadour, the scientist who famously designed a slightly curved, corkscrew tunnel for Raleigh Sakers to stumble through, said the media giant hired him to develop a social media mining technique that entertained the child like a toy.

“Lebal Drocer’s child mines would be addictive,” Troubadour said of Raleigh’s designs. “They cry when they are given their twice-daily break. They refuse food, and even toilets. These were the results of our experiment.”

Terry said that experiment stopped when a meme popularized the expression “the children yearn for the mines” and drew attention to the science before any product could take form.

“We was hot on ’em,” said Terry. “I smelled blood.”

But before he could reach the hut, all at once, the clicking stopped. When he opened the thatch door, the room still warm with the heavy presence of sweat and exhaustion, only a piece of plywood remained, with an iPhone charger, still plugged into the lone solar battery, powering nothing.

He phoned back to America, and had his assistant check all the official records. That night it was determined media mogul Raleigh T. Sakers has been dead for more than 25 years.