Descent into Anonymous

Part 1-Lulz from Anons

Anonymous is the go to collective of hackers for media outlets that want to drum up fear for internet freedom. The weapon of choice for Anonymous is a distributed denial of service attack, also known as DDoS. DDoS works by overloading a web server to the point where it can no longer function for a few hours. Nothing about it is very threatening in reality.

I’m writing this in a public library, sick with paranoia that these preteens around me are Anons. They look like Anons. In Anonspeak an Anon is a member of Anonymous. Anons will deny they are a member of anything. This is just the base of the inside-out pyramid of contradictions that form the body of Anonymous ideology.

Anons are far above the lowly label of group. Anonymous prefers the self-gratifying label of ’hyper-consciousness.’ In truth, most Anons are a collection of sub-conscious slaves, sucked in by ingenious propaganda. Anonymous might be the latest development in bot net technology. A bot net is kind of like a large bank of computers that can be drawn upon for a DDoS attack. Hackers used to have to write computer viruses to create a bot net. Anonymous is like a bot net that is spread and maintained by viral ideology.

Anonymous is easy to get sucked into. I became obsessed myself. I don’t blame these kids for wanting to be activists, I understand that. Defiance is the appeal. Yet it doesn’t take a lot of insight to see that the true feature of an Anon is not activism or defiance. It is submission.

I’m an expert troll with over a decade of experience. In AnonSpeak a troll is a highly honorable position of power. A troll disconnects himself from all preconceived notions and creates a narrative that is designed to outrage others. Trolls feed off of lulz. Derived from the older acronym LOL, which means laughing out loud, lulz has a deeper connotation of self-satisfaction. I wrote a masterful opinion piece, every detail designed to outrage Anonymous and challenge as many of their ideologies as possible. I published it to AnonNews and traffic to my web site increased 50-fold overnight. It was cake. In AnonSpeak, cake is something that was just too damned easy.

If only I could have dropped it there. There were too many lulz to be had, too much cake for the eating. I had drawn myself into their twisted virtual world.

Part 2-Descent

My magnum opus of trolling art rocketed to the top of the list of least popular stories on AnonNews. The piece was entitled “Why Anonymous is completely irrelevant.” Among other things, I criticized AnonNews for putting up advertisements and using PayPal to take donations. Within a day, the ads were down. AnonNews began to accept donations through a different service, too. The commentary on AnonNews was the most delicious kind of troll food. They were “butthurt” to say the least. The lulz were more addictive than any drug I have ever taken. There was too much troll food for any single troll to eat. Some began eating the scraps, even adopting my pseudonym ‘Kilgore Trout’ when it suited them.

This public library computer lab is the type of place that Anons would congregate, in my imagination. There are the furtive whispers of children, defective fluorescent lights. The lightly clattering keys and snapping mice beat out a modern tribal rhythm that seems to be somehow perfectly in step with the disorganized light show. Insane thoughts have been planted in their heads, silently manipulating the vacillating children subjects into organized action.

I played my ego, speaking of my many talents and the cake that influence over them was. I even issued a press release to warn Anonymous how easy they were to hijack while taking credit for doing so. I was the lord king glutton of trolls, overfed and over read. I’ll even share my favorite piece of troll food. Some anon rightly accused me of pilfering from Vonnegut, and said that I did not live up to the name of Kilgore Trout. I still go into uncontrollable fits of laughter at the idea of not living up to Vonnegut’s alter ego, his exercise in brutal self deprecation.

I didn’t sleep, I missed work. When I did work I would break into hysterics, unable to stop laughing about how much power I had over these morons. It had all started out as a joke, but I could sense my influence, it was something tangible. I changed from a being of flesh and blood into a virtual body comprised of nothing but lulz. Every affectation and trait that defined the super hero “hyperconsciousness” these children had built their cult around invaded my being. I had become their own hideous reflection.

Part 3-Westboro Baptist

Westboro Baptist is a cult run by Fred Phelps that uses strategies similar to trolling so that it can sustain itself. They go to soldiers’ funerals and call everyone there a bunch of fag lovers. When the fists fly, they profit. Anonymous posted a press release promising DDoS attacks on the activists at Westboro Baptist shortly after my influence had risen. Westboro Baptist responded by posting their own press release on AnonNews. It said quite simply, “bring it on.”

I went on the warpath. These were my lulz, not Fred Phelps’.  I was in charge here, not some shitty church. I began to meddle with these children’s minds. I dropped my pseudonym. I was Anonymous, hyperconsciousness in the flesh. I spread rumors that Westboro Baptist Church had posted the threat themselves. I began to call anyone who disagreed a WBCfag and accused them of infiltrating Anonymous. Within a few hours, multiple press releases reflected this twisted version of reality and reinforced the point of view that had descended from my hegemony. All attacks were called off, and I celebrated my victory over Fred Phelps and Anonymous with a 40 oz. for me and all my friends.

Even then, I had continued to accept the idea that there were no leaders. Yet as someone who had found the method to exercise control over Anonymous, I began to see evidence of an invisible hand.

Despite the lack of support, Anonymous was insistent on attacking Westboro Baptist. A DDoS attack was impossible because I had scuttled the mass interest. Instead, a small group or individual gained root access to Westboro Baptist’s web servers and defaced them. All the power I had gained was gone as easily as it had come. Someone was surely pulling some strings from behind the scenes, employing a kind of virtual secret police to get the job done.

Part 4-The Hegemony Strikes Back

I know they’re going to come after me. The threats have been mounting. They’re going to deface my web site and publish all my e-mails and chat logs. I’m ready for it. If Anonymous was more grounded in reality, they would threaten to murder me.

Anonymous bears all the hallmarks of a totalitarian regime. First of these is the derisive labeling of enemies. Anons call me a namefag. Namefag is of course Anonspeak for enemy. The group of allies I have made are called moralfags. This is also Anonspeak for enemy. I pity these exploited young men that have been tricked into hatred.

Anons believe that anonymity protects them from the government. This is a fantasy. They also believe it can protect them from outsiders who would hijack their movement. What a joke! I committed my most vile acts of influence by assuming anonymity and abusing the nature of these weak young men. The hand that silently manipulates these kids knows that preaching anonymity, anarchy, and nihilism keeps them shackled with totality. It keeps out new ideas and new leaders. Their naivety is exploited just as in any totalitarian state.

Anonymous is manipulated by propaganda. Every press release is punctuated with the following mottoe:

We are Anonymous

We are legion

We do not forgive

We do not forget

Expect us.

Press releases appear criminal and intimidating. They use fiery language and incite anger. They make Anons feel part of something not only important, but bad ass. These kids go and tell girls at school that they are Anons in the hopes it will get them some action. Hell, it might even work. Oh, baby, won’t you wear that Guy Fawkes mask while we dry hump?

The insecurities and fantasies of Anons are also exploited. The pervasive use of ‘fag’ in Anonspeak plays on the young men’s uncomfortable sexuality. They are frustrated living in a world where adults control them, so they slip into a false reality. Here, Anonymous is a godlike super being that they can worship and be a part of. It is a kind of personality cult constructed around a hyperconsciousness that is lifted straight out of science fiction. These kids DDoS Egyptian government web sites and then take credit for the entire revolution. The propaganda compares Anons to protesters in the streets. They are fed the lie that one day Anonymous will bring freedom to everyone on Earth. It is a very pleasant fantasy.

Anonymous shows every sign of being manipulated by somebody. I know what kind of mind is behind Anonymous. It is the pet project of a genius with an unnatural ability to create viral ideas. He or she has carefully crafted Anonymous just to take it for a joyride. To this person, the power from Anonymous is its own end. Yet I would also consider the possibility that Anonymous has been carefully engineered by a government or multi-national corporation. To them, Anonymous is only a means to quicken the erosion of internet freedom, an imminent threat to their power.


227 comments to Descent into Anonymous

  • Despite the clear importance of Anonymous in bringing down the Church of Scientology criminal cult, something that the authorities have so long failed to accomplish, Kilgoar makes several legitimate points, lambasting and prodding human weaknesses to which we are all prey and none of us immune. There is an intrinsic conflict of conscience, when the choice seems to be between the risk if power madness in action by questionable means or else impotent in bystanding in the face of ruinous injustice. And these are matters for civil discourse and critical thinking, not the indulgence of lulz.

  • You my dear, are a ignorant, piece of work. (:
    Everything you wrote proves it.
    First of all, you are paranoid, thinking all teens are anons? I’m eighteen, I read about their work, I think they’re doing a good thing. But I’m not one of them. Nor are the majority of the teens I know, in fact, the majority of the teens I know, don’t even know anything about Anonymous, they know they are a group of hackers, that’s about it though. So like I said, you’re paranoid, & In most cases, if someone is paranoid enough to believe everyone around them is part of one big group, that means you’re crazy, the actual name for that is Paranoid Schizophrenia. & From reading the article you wrote, it really sounds like you might be one of those people. (:
    Also, the way you word things, make’s you sound like a complete moron, just thought I’d let ya know.
    ” They make Anons feel part of something not only important, but bad ass. These kids go and tell girls at school that they are Anons in the hopes it will get them some action. Hell, it might even work. Oh, baby, won’t you wear that Guy Fawkes mask while we dry hump? ”
    Do you seriously think that’s how things work? The people who are a part of Anonymous don’t go and tell girls at school, cause they don’t go tell people, they keep it to themselves, & if they were to go tell girls in school, the girls probably couldn’t care less. Because the fact that, if a teen guy walks up to a teen girl and says ” Hey, I’m part of Anonymous. ” I can pretty much guarantee the girls response would either be ” Okay? Good for you. ” Then she would walk away, or it would be ” I don’t even know what the hell Anonymous is. Go away. ” It would be something to the effect of one of those two. Because most girls are too shallow and conceited to care about this stuff, they focus on their pretty face, and their pretty friends, to them, the world revolves around them, so they know nothing of Anonymous. They are completely unaware of pretty much anything going on in the world around them. Or if the girl does know what Anonymous is, she will more than likely think the kid telling her he’s in the group is a pathological liar, because most high-school kids, are way too dumb to be a part of such a complicated group. So she’s not going to ask him to wear the mask while they dry hump. Because he doesn’t have a mask. & Even if he did, that would be fucking creepy. Plus teens, don’t usually dry hump, they straight up fuck, teen girls now, are usually sluts, so they don’t care whether or not some guy is ” bad ass. ” or in some big group. If he has a penis, she’s all over that.
    The things you said are completely illogical. & You either look too deep into things, or you don’t look deep enough into things. & Both are pretty bad.
    ” It is a kind of personality cult constructed around a hyperconsciousness that is lifted straight out of science fiction. ”
    Anonymous is not a cult. Anonymous is a huge group of some of the only level headed people left in today’s society, they are activists, they are starting one of the most important movements that have happened in a long time. & They laugh at idiots like you.

  • l0l

    I came expecting something good against anonymous.
    All I read was a big waste of time indulging in someone’s frugal attempts at calling themselves a “troll” while telling everyone all the stupid shit they did.
    You haven’t been on the Internet long enough, buddy.

  • Daret

    i disliked the article becuase you are to one sided and have tunnle vision point of view. i wont on the other hand tell you to shut up and not express your self even tho that it seems you are just crying for attention becuase i believe in freedom of speech for everyone.. even you. that is one of the things anon is fighting for laws like PIPA SOPA and ACTA aim to take that away. if you look back in history you find people that have fought and died for change for the thought of being free and haveing freedom of speech. imo what you are doing with this artical is saying that people that want to keep what so many have died for are morons that are being brainwashed by an invisable hand that plays god behind a keybord eating cake with one hand and mostlikely masterbateing with the other. i am not with anon but i do suport them and i will try and do what i can to fight for my freedoms.

    • spookinWORD

      I luv the smell of e-rage late at night haha

    • Interestingly enough, Kilgore Trout has described the sensation of tunnel vision while writing some of his most intense work. What would unnerve me seems to energize him. Astute observation, Daret.

      As far as all that other shit you said, tl;dr start a blog

  • Anonymous

    good im glad you had fun with the people who believe in anon and their ideas,but remember its not one plan its many, its not one group its many,and im not one man, im someone who can change things.